And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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