Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
