If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
