Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
