What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
