the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
