I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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