i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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