he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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