Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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