sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
