forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize