is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
