you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
