we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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