we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
