Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
