I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
