And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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