After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
