nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
