Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
