At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He did a backflip because drugs
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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