That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
