i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
