Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
