Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize