so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
