So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
