remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize