did you get engaged???
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What a dumb baby whore.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
