i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
