in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
