I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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