It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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