The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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