If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
