I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
