I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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