We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
how does that bad decision feel?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
