He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
