McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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