I accidentally burped into my bong.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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