idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Ladies don't puke and tell
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
