You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
