I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize