Need sex. Gaining weight.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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