My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
