I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
