i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
