i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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