I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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