I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
