This girl is more easily done than said...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
