I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
