Someone shit on the floor
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
