I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize