I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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