I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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