I'm laying in your front yard are you home
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
