you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize