he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
