i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
