I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize