you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
