rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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