I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
