I just saw a hot homeless man
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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