girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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