The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
