Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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