Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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