I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
