I hate all girls vehemently.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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