basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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