Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
