Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
