I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
