I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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