everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
