I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
