Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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